Beau is such a winner at this whole "baby daddy" thing.
Notice anything odd about that picture?
Well...how about this one?
Why, yes, he is driving his car while his fiance waddles home.
How gentlemanly of him.
And, because I was tired of the piece o'shit car thing, I did a little recoloring job:
Doesn't look so craptastic anymore, huh?
Apparently Shayna approves, because here is she performing grand theft auto:
She's getting an early start. Her LTW is "Emperor of Evil."
I adore her. :-)
She's also performing the normal Braxton teenager routine:
I hate baby making time. It consists of nothing but eating and waddling.
I think Beau just wants to be like Youssef. It all started when he just *had* to have his own easel after he saw Youssef's. And now?
I rest my case. Next thing ya know, Beau will be walking around bare chested all of the time.
There's no such thing as being too pregnant for woo-hoo.
...or maybe there is?
Beau seems to be saying:
"I say, Heidi, is something the matter?"
Heidi tried to refrain from calling him a nincompoop.
One last ditch effort to let Beau know that something was, indeed, the matter:
By jove, I think he's got it!!
Fat lot of good it does just standing around screaming about it, though.
I think Shayna has that covered, anyways.
At this point, she was supposed to be heading to school. Instead, she just started freaking out, and then went to watch TV. I guess she thought I would be so distracted by her sister giving birth, that I would just give her a free pass.
...wrong! Of to school she went. ;-)
Beau, of course, was busy playing the ever considerate fiance...
By graciously allowing Heidi to use his car to drive herself to the hospital to have HIS child. And he selflessly came along for the ride, of course. ;-)
And even more thoughtfully:
He used vamp-speed to transport himself to the hospital entrance, leaving a very disgruntled Heidi behind to eat his dust. Pfft. He's no Edward.
Eventually, she caught up.
And went inside just long enough to drop her baby and come right back out. Literally, I think she was in there for 0.456 seconds. See...she even is yawning at the thought of childbirth:
The little bundle of joy is named Ryder. He rolled the artistic and perceptive traits. No wonder Heidi is yawning. Me, too. :-P
Beau decided to run off:
Presumably to get home to the computer? Maybe he was expecting an important email? Damned if I know.
I do know this.
Heidi has had enough.
I think she is tired of the showoff-y running, don't you?
But, hey, Beau was considerate enough to GET A TAXI for the two of them, y'know, since Heidi is holding a baby and all and can't drive.
That Beau, always thinking of others.
They managed to make it home at the same time, amazingly.
But apparently, he finds something in the Braxton house to be disgusting.
You don't say! Not *this* household full of clean freaks. :-|
Could it be ...
the stove? Certainly he doesn't find that shiny object to be distasteful. Apparently, the maid doesn't, as she isn't deterred from pilfering the refrigerator because of it. She also isn't inclined to clean it, either.
At this point, it must be REALLY bad.
Even Shayna's creepy bush stalker is disgusted by it:
Oh yeah, I haven't mentioned. Our little Shayna attracts quite a lot of attention. One of them being this creeper, Zachariah Starr. (Ill-advised offspring of Emmy Starr and Alan Stanley.)
This is him, pre-makeover:
I'm sad to report, post-makeover Zach wasn't much better. I got so disgusted by the whole situation, that I basically just gave up.
He invited himself in and stood around, listening to Youssef jam on his guitar. (One more point to go, whee!! LTW - here I come!)
He then sat down at the table and attempted to do homework with Shayna.
This didn't last long.
She asked him to leave soon after he sat down. Heidi, of course, is wondering who the hell this ugly creeper kid is that just randomly walked into her house.
At this point, I started to worry about sending Shayna out on her own with nothing to aid her but Story Progression, as it had been throwing Zach at her full force since elementary school, and I definitely didn't want her swimming around in THAT gene pool. However...
That is not an issue now. ;-)
Beau had decided that since Heidi was no longer carrying a child, he was ready to show her a little more about what it means to be a vampire.
...so he waited until the time was right.
...and then he pounced.
These sims turn everything into a comedy.
Heidi can't keep herself from looking like some sort of brainless goof for two seconds. :-P
She, however, must have found the whole thing terribly romantic:
I just noticed that they have a creepy gnome stalker.
Go away, Carmelo!
Well, we all know where this leads. ;-)
Anyways, this is the point where the whole game got flushed down the crapper.
See, Bridgeport had been running about as quickly as frozen peanut butter, but I was willing to go ahead amidst all of the lags and glitches, because I *love* Bridgeport, as badly created as it is. That's part of the reason for the slowness of recent updates, because I just had NOT had the will to play with such conditions.
...and then I decided to have a wedding.
I had the ENTIRE thing planned out. I had Heidi rent out the Butterfly Esplanade, I had everyone invited. I had Heidi all decked out in her wedding dress with a suitable hairstyle. I had Beau all dressed us.
...it was HAPPENING.
It came time for me to send them to the Esplanade, and that's when things went shitty.
Their wedding was scheduled for 6pm. Suitable for vampires. ;-)
At 8 pm, they were still trying to reach the venue. At 8:30 pm, the game notified me that Heidi's party was a modest success and all of the guests felt good about attending. Well, I'm glad they had a good time at the WEDDING party with NO WEDDING.
At 9 pm, Heidi and her family arrived at the venue.
I don't know why he always takes 234928342903842394823948 times longer to reach somewhere than everyone else does...
But he does!
Heidi and Youssef wondering where the CRAP Beau has ran off to.
Youssef apparently thinks the computer is to blame. :-P
At 11 pm, Mr. Fashionably Late makes an appearance:
Well, it's about time, right?
Anyways, so they got married, blah blah blah...who cares. I'm still pissed about my beautiful wedding getting destroyed.
As you can see, Heidi and Beau continued to ruin my beautiful wedding pictures by looking the epitome of goofball-ishness.
I mean what the fudge is wrong with Beau's face? Is that even Beau? (because it certainly doesn't look like him.) And why can't Heidi close her mouth??! She looked dumbfounded the entire time for freak's sake.
...I blame Bridgeport.
Shayna and the stalkerazzi:
Hallooooooooo there creeper dude! What are you doing at my front door?
No one invited you in!! :-O
And thankfully, that is all for Bridgeport. It was fun while it lasted...but...all good things must come to an end.
Especially when they infuriate me. ;-)
Join us next time...in Barnacle Bay - minus the deformed townsfolk! (FYI- this seems to be what my sister thinks SpongeBob's town is named. That's Bikini Bottom, right?)