A Hot Ham and Cheese Mess

Hello, friends!!

In case you don't remember...

This was how we last saw our dear Adrienne.

And that is how we begin. ;-)

Of course, she had to tell Youssef. I mean, he *had* to be wondering why she was wearing that horrific shirt with the pants and shoes she had on pre-baby bump.

(Note to readers: I would *love* to know how people choose their pregnancy clothes. Feel free to share this knowledge with me, it would be appreciated. Thanks.)

I don't know what the hell a teddy bear has to do with anything, but, I don't know what to make of what Youssef was thinking.

I'm sure something along the lines of  "Next plane to Egypt, please."

 

But, beneath his womanizer exterior lurks a heart of gold, so he gives her a thumbs up and goes on about his business.

 

Lifetime wish...coming up!! Youssef wishes to master the painting and guitar skills, so I have opted to give him a job as a painter and let him go at it. So, I guess he will be something of a stay at home dad. (Oh, and in case you're wondering - Youssef's traits are - flirty, friendly, angler, artistic, and natural cook. Pretty good.)

 

Umm...yeah...good work, Youssef.  I call this one "Ninja Turtle with a Halo."

Not surprisingly, everything in the house continued to be shitty:

But, I mean, that's to be expected. Everything in the house was shitty upon purchase. It can only go down hill from there.

Life is so unfair for my poor Adrienne...

I mean, here she is...looking all pregnant in her ugly top and fancy pants and shoes...

And...

Youssef here gets to prance around in his undies lookin' all ripped and stuff. I can just hear him talking to himself now "Mmm..hmmm...who's hot stuff? I am, baby. I got babes from halfway across the world stealing me from my home to procreate with me. Oh yeah."

To my utter delight, Youssef turns out to be quite a nice little family guy. I mean, just take a gander:

And here I was, worried that he was going to be chasing around after all the women in Sunset Valley, when he is perfectly content to sit at home, paint, and massage his pregnant wife's shoulders. 

...er. Well...

It's not *exactly* like I've let him out  much since his arrival, though...I guess maybe I had been working them too hard...maybe it's time to let them loose.

So...I took them to Little Corsican again...

Lovely choice of pregnancy formal wear.

And, of course, one has to REALLY wonder...

Does Judy Bunch have a home or does she just camp out at the Bistro 24/7? In this game, so far, I have yet to have a trip out for dinner where she WASN'T there. *raises eyebrow* Maybe if I start hanging out at the gym...

:-D

Anyways...it was getting to be about that time...

So, Adrienne and Youssef took off to the hospital. Calmly, of course. 

Which is more than can be said for Holly Alto, and Michael and Jocasta Bachelor:

Who, for some reason, are freaking out because my sim is giving birth. Pfft. Who the hell knows, with this game?

I'd like to introduce you all to Adrienne's sweet little bundle of...um...joy...

Dallas Braxton! 

He was born with a lovely hole in the head (as is the usual in the game by now) and with Grumpy and Artistic as his two traits.

Upon arrival at their home, however, Adrienne found something to her disliking:

Death stare that will make your blood run cold. Eep.

I guess she didn't like the fact that Youssef plopped himself down to a nice book, and left Adrienne to tend to the baby all by herself.

So...she did what any self-centered witch would do.

Changed back into her normal clothes...

And took a trip down to the local pool to show off her post-baby bikini bod.

(Seriously, folks, she totally flew the coop. I looked around and she was gone. On her own. She has quite the little personality.)

Youssef didn't seem to mind, though. Like I said before, he seems to have left his wild ways behind them and resigned himself to family life:

 

 Ain't he precious? The baby's pretty cute, too, huge gaping hole in his head aside.

Adrienne eventually wandered back in, and decided to make her little snobby self useful by cooking.

...a blind man could have seen that coming. I was tempted to make her eat it, just to be mean, but I let her throw it away and eat leftovers instead.

The Braxton's quickly learned that family life was definitely...rough...to say the very least.

 

Hmmm...well...there's not much you can do about that now, is there? 

At this point, I had to keep a close watch on the baby, to make sure that it didn't disappear. I didn't know what these sims were capable of. 

Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all...

And the baby was the least of it:

 

Something in this house was ALWAYS broke and/or grimy. I'm surprised they all hadn't gotten some funky disease and died away by this point.

I decided it was time to let them have a break, so I hired a babysitter and let them have a night out on the town:

 

Youssef had a fantastical time showcasing his mad dancing skills.

And Adrienne had a meltdown when the bouncer wouldn't let her into the "VIP area."

 

Simmer down, Drama Queen. It's not *my* fault you're a nobody. Maybe if you'd gotten in good with the Frio's you'd be somebody by now.

Besides...what are you really missing?

 

...yeah, that's what I thought.

They had a great time dancing, anyways...

 

But, alas, the night had to be over:

Luckily, there was nothing to worry about...because I somehow managed to get the ONE babysitter that isn't a worthless turd:

Not that they cared. They probably hoped that Social Services had stepped in by the time they got back.

What the ham fat, Adrienne?? Awkward much? I guess we all see how much she loves herself now. When you are willing to accompany a MAN in the bathroom to check yourself out...it's become an obsession.

She could have died of toxic inhalation.

The next day, it was time for the little one to grow up.

I decided to give him a party. It was a STINKER of an idea.

Adrienne spent the whole time peeved:

Mostly because BELLA WOULDN'T PUT MY FREAKIN' BABY DOWN!!

Girl, don't you have something better to do?? Like have a few disturbing children with Mortimer, or get abducted by aliens and sent to Strangetown, or something??

Anyways, after flippin' FOREVER she put Dallas down, and the party was able to continue.

But not without the customary craptastic fixture breakdown:

Of course, that ruined the party, because all anyone could think of was that blasted sink spraying everywhere.

I somehow managed to get them to grow him up,  however:

 

 

Oh, dear. Something's just not right. THOSE EYES!!!!

Let's nip this in the bud:

Phew. They weren't there for keepsies. HUGE sigh of relief.

He still needs a makeover:

Oh my. *pinches his cheeks until they fall off*

If he would any more adorable, my computer couldn't handle it. I want to grab him right off my screen and snuggle him to death.

Elsewheres at the party, Hank Goddard was showing off his guitar skills, among other things:

I guess he was trying to give Adrienne a taste of what she would have had if she had only just picked from what Sunset Valley had to offer instead of running off to Egypt.

*shrugs*

I don't think she did so bad for herself:

 Not one, but TWO  swoon-worthy Egyptian boys. WHEEEEE!!

Anyways, not long after, the party was over, and my poor people were left with the aftermath:

Uh....close up of that high chair please??

The blasted thing has never even been used!! What the fudge?! Does everything in my house just give up and go filthy as soon as it's placed in there?

How am I supposed to clean this place up if everything gets dirty on it's own.

Booooo.

Anyways, chapter 5 is over.

You'll all have to wait until next time to found out if they are able to properly raise Dallas, or if he just mysteriously diappears and never returns.